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《梦歌1:发怒的亨利藏了一天》

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发表于 2007-9-17 00:44:42 | 显示全部楼层 |阅读模式
<p>《梦歌1:发怒的亨利藏了一天》<br/>(美)约翰·贝里曼<br/>胡桑译</p><p>发怒的亨利藏了一天,<br/>怒不可遏的亨利生气了。<br/>我懂他的想法,——拼命把事情搁下。<br/>这正是大家的想法<br/>他们也会这么干,这让亨利充满恶意然后离开。<br/>但是他该出来谈谈。</p><p>世界就像一位羊毛织就的情人<br/>一度似乎在亨利这边。<br/>随即离开。<br/>此后一切都发生了,像可能或应该的那样。<br/>我没有看到亨利如何幸免,<br/>当他被撬开让全世界看见。</p><p>此刻他必须说的是世界<br/>容许自己是一个漫长的奇迹。<br/>我曾经在一株悬铃木的顶端<br/>快乐至极,并且歌唱。<br/>土地上牢牢地穿着坚强的海<br/>床上长出空虚。</p><p><br/>Dream Song 1: Huffy Henry hid the day<br/>John Berryman(1914 - 1972)<br/>&nbsp;<br/>Huffy Henry hid the day,<br/>unappeasable Henry sulked.<br/>I see his point,—a trying to put things over.<br/>It was the thought that they thought<br/>they could do it made Henry wicked &amp; away.<br/>But he should have come out and talked.</p><p>All the world like a woolen lover<br/>once did seem on Henry's side.<br/>Then came a departure.<br/>Thereafter nothing fell out as it might or ought.<br/>I don't see how Henry, pried<br/>open for all the world to see, survived.</p><p>What he has now to say is a long<br/>wonder the world can bear &amp; be.<br/>Once in a sycamore I was glad<br/>all at the top, and I sang.<br/>Hard on the land wears the strong sea<br/>and empty grows every bed. </p>
[此贴子已经被作者于2007-11-12 15:41:34编辑过]
发表于 2007-10-6 01:50:03 | 显示全部楼层
<font face="Verdana" color="#000000">问候胡桑,作品已经调网站。</font>
发表于 2008-3-9 21:39:14 | 显示全部楼层
床上长出空虚。
发表于 2008-4-5 00:42:26 | 显示全部楼层
欣赏你处理句子的节奏音韵时的技法,很巧妙顺雅.最后一句应不该少每个这个词吧?也许你是为语句和韵律的需要而省?回头继续期待你的译作.春好!
 楼主| 发表于 2008-4-22 14:24:08 | 显示全部楼层
<p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt; LINE-HEIGHT: 150%;"><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: &quot;Times New Roman&quot;; mso-hansi-font-family: &quot;Times New Roman&quot;;">最近没上网,问好。我的译作问题很多,英语方面没有你专业,很希望你多提意见。这里最后一句当时却是为了节省而这样,现在看来似乎少了点东西。</span></p>
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